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Social
Bullying to a New Level
Are
there more nasty, little girls or are we just noticing it more? Do “helicopter” parents hover and take every
small slight to heart? I don’t think so. Look at how devastating it is:
In the case of a little girl named Caroline Port, the torment didn’t begin until first grade. Within months of starting at a private elementary school in suburban St. Louis, Caroline, now 9, was waking up with night terrors, sleepwalking and crying excessively. When her mother, Karen Port, met with Caroline’s teacher, she learned that her daughter was being ostracized. (Italics added.)
Five
birthday parties passed, without any invitations. No one would play with
Caroline. She sat with the boys at lunchtime. “I hate myself,” she would tell her
mother when she came home. She was 7 years old. -- “The Playground Gets Even Tougher” by Pamela Paul
After I read this, I
mentioned it to a GoodCopy staffer, and we agreed we were so lucky to have missed the ordeals of social torment and ostracism. So, how did we get “here?”
Parents may be partially to
blame, more worried about their children’s social status than their character:
A
kindergarten teacher at one of New
York City’s top private all-girls schools observed,
“The mean girls are often from mean moms.” She was thrown back by the “venom”
among 5-year-olds. They’ll say, “You only read ‘Biscuit,’ and we’re all reading
chapter books.” Or, “Why don’t you brush your hair? You don’t look nice today.”
And they’re not afraid of getting into trouble with a teacher. “Perhaps they
can act that way at home without repercussions,” she said. “It’s untypical of
this age group because they’re usually adult-pleasers.”
Some years ago I had to
explain to my daughter that, in the wake of a highly publicized presidential
dalliance, she couldn’t wear a Monica Lewinsky style beret to school. The news is even more explicit now, and too many other programs are racy,
mean-spirited, and violent.
We all see children (and
maybe some adults!) hunched over video games with zombie-like addiction. Aggression
wins! What a learning experience.
Youngsters are all over the
internet getting even more of an “education,” and following it with “social
media” torment on web sites like YouTube, Facebook, etc. Many children text on
their cell phones, sending silent, devastating messages about their classmates.
Even the Federal government
is becoming involved and may consider bullying a violation of civil rights.
(That’s another topic, not necessarily for this blog!)
More next time on how parents
and grandparents might deal with this. Tell
me about your family’s experiences, too.
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